Little White Butterfly
by Bittersweet Alchemist
Summary: Watching a small white butterfly, Mello recalls a night during a storm. A night when he got along with Near. A night he kissed the little white butterfly... HIS little white butterfly. MelloxNear, rated T for gay kissing and Mello's language (uploaded from my iPad, nicknamed Dumb Thing, so if it's awful, blame Dumb Thing.)


I allowed a small white butterfly to land on my knee instead of chasing it away. Matt cast me a curious glance as a pink one settled on his shoulder and a dark blue one on his hip. I glared, and he shrugged passively, saying that he was going home.

Matt's footsteps disturbed the delicate pink petals lying on the ground, making them swirl up in tiny clouds or skitter to the sides. I watched them blankly, allowing the delicate white insect to climb onto my finger.

Funny, how the cherry-blossoms reminded me of leaves tossed about in the wind... And this butterfly...

I lifted my hand so the butterfly was even with my face, watching it quiver in the breeze. I sighed, and it shuddered.

Sorry.

This butterfly reminded me of Near, that night during the storm.

Leaves whipped against the slick window, clinging to the glass for a second or two, then torn away... Hail pounding against the window, accompanied by the relentless torrent and the howling wind... The dark, chilly room, illuminated by the occasional lightning-strike... Near's wide, dark eyes as he turned his face towards mine... His heart under my hand, pounding, fluttering, pleading sanctuary...

Those words I'd said.

That night would always haunt me, wouldn't it...?

The butterfly froze, as if sensing my discontent. I watched him quiver again, taking off.

"Yeah, see ya, buddy..." I sighed, standing up to go.

It was a really miserable night, I thought as I watched the wind toss the leaves about. The hail rattled the glass threateningly, as if it was trying to kill me. Lightning flashed, making me blink. The following peal of thunder shook the window-pane. Still partially blinded, I began shaking my head in order to clear my vision as I turned around-

"JESUS!" I yelled in shock, jumping.

Near blinked, standing just in the doorway. The thunder must've disguised the noise of the door opening and closing.

"What the heck do you want?" I snapped irritably. My feet were getting cold and I wanted to go to bed. If Near wanted something, God knew how long THAT would take!

"Nothing... Not really..." he murmured, hugging himself.

"You must want SOMETHING, or why the heck would you be here?!"

He shrugged helplessly.

Grumbling, I climbed onto my bed. Near watched me with his dark eyes. Since I didn't have the light on, his blue-black eyes just looked like pools of darkness. I glared back at him, waiting for him to react. He ducked his head a little, biting his lip.

"Is..."

I tilted my head, waiting for him to continue.

"Is..." he tried again.

"Spit it out, Near!" I snapped, putting as much conviction as I could muster behind my voice.

"... Is it alright if I spend the night with you?"

He looked so small, so timid and delicate, like barely breathing on him would knock him out, I almost said yes. "Hell, no!" I spat.

Nodding passively, he turned to leave, not saying anything. As his finger-tips brushed the doorknob, I asked, "Why?"

He hesitated, biting his lip. God, I'd never seen Near look so hopelessly lost!

"I... I was... I mean..."

"... Near, you aren't... scared, are you?" I asked skeptically.

With a tiny whimper, he nodded, hugging himself tighter.

"Why...?"

I was trying not to laugh at such a childish phobia, but part of me was saying, 'Like YOU aren't the same about needles!'

"I've never... I've never liked them... I'm just... scared..."

I bit my lip now. "Why me?" It was common knowledge- and common sense- that I despised Near. Why on earth he would come to me asking to be comforted was probably a reason that would take some ancient, twisted guru ten years to unravel!

"... You're... You..."

Damn, since when did NEAR of all people fail to find words?!

Lightning flashed again, and he flinched, whimpering. Before I really knew what I was doing, I'd pulled him onto my bed and was wrapping my blanket around us both.

"Fine, I guess..." I muttered, turning away as I felt my cheeks flush. Not like he should've been able to see me blush in the dark anyway...

My arms were wrapped around him, I realized. I didn't really like this position... But I couldn't do much about it.

Near's heart was under my hand, fluttering like a caged bird beating it's wings against the sides of it's prison. I could feel it's small, delicate, almost rabbit-like beating better than the fabric of the blanket around me... I sighed, making him look up at me, but when he saw that I had nothing to say, he turned his attention away from me again. My heart was also thumping, beating frantically, but not in the mesmerizingly delicate way Near's was...

Why was I overreacting so much? It wasn't like anyone would find out!

Lightning flashed again, and Near shrank into me, whimpering like a whipped dog. I instinctively hugged him tighter, saying, "It's alright. I've got you."

That wasn't how I normally acted. Ordinarily, I would've shoved Near off the bed and told him to scram LONG before now. And we both knew it. Why I was being so nice was a mystery to both of us, I bet.

He turned his face up so he was looking at me. "If you want me to go, I can..." he offered softly, his voice barely audible over the howling wind.

Despite his saying that, his grip on me tightened. I felt his heart fluttering, pleading for me to let him stay... He didn't want to leave. To tell the truth, I didn't really want him to either... I kinda liked the way he clung to me, bunching my shirt up in his fists... and then there was the way every breath of his made his heart flutter...

I pulled him closer, bowing my head to nuzzle his neck. He made a small noise of surprise, but didn't resist or push me away. He smelled... I don't know. Infantile, like milk and baby-powder. "Just stay, you moron..." I breathed in his ear.

"'Kay..."

We sat like that for... Oh, I don't know how long. Maybe it was hours. Maybe it was minutes. I nuzzled his neck, breathing in his scent, feeling the heat of his breath down my neck. Near clung to me, occasionally whimpering when the lightning flashed or the thunder rumbled menacingly. I'd always squeeze him a little tighter, saying it was okay, feeling his heart flutter it's little bird-wings... I didn't ever want him to leave, to end this drowsy, friendly warmth under the blanket...

But it'd all be over by tomorrow, like tonight never happened. He'd get a perfect score on a test, and I'd be one furious point behind him. I'd snap at him and be in a foul mood...

Lightning flashed, and Near whimpered loudly in my ear, his grip on me tightening. I didn't even say anything, squeezing him the way a mother did her child to show him she loved him.

Or the way an older brother did his younger brother to let him know he'd protect him.

I stroked Near's hair for a moment, keeping my other hand draped over his chest. I wanted to feel the way his heart fluttered, the rhythm it pounded to, forever...  
I ran my fingers through his hair one last time as he sighed, leaning a little more heavily on me. Or maybe he was yawning. It was late, after all... I still wanted to go to sleep, but if I could do it RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, that would've been perpetual bliss...

Near... Near... Near, I-

"Mello..."

Crap, I hadn't said any of that out loud, had I...?

"Mmph..." I responded.

"I..."

What, Near? I was almost pleading for him to say those three words that I was failing to say... Words that would mean nothing come morning...

"I'm tired."

That was it? Well... It was probably for the best... no telling what complications would arise...

I lifted my head, feeling awfully sleepy myself. I looked at Near, into his pools of black... our faces were so close, I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheeks... his frantically fluttering heart was calming down... less like a bird now, more like a little white butterfly...

Little butterfly... No matter what happens after tonight, because I know that tomorrow, this will have never happened...

I tipped his head up a little more and pressed our lips together, crushing his dry, chapped ones against my soft ones. Again, he made that small noise, but he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, deepening the kiss. I moved my hand to the back of his head and let the blanket drop. Instantly, the cold air bit into me, but I hardly noticed as I wrapped my other arm around Near's waist, deepening the kiss even further. I purred, and, as if in response, Near moaned a little, clinging desperately to me... I was drowning in his scent, breathing his baby-like essence as I pulled him as close to me as I could, eliminating any air between us...

I ran my tongue over his upper lip. He gasped a little, opening his mouth more to admit me. I tentatively slipped my tongue between his lips and into his mouth. Near moaned, shuddering, as I explored his mouth. In an almost playful manner, he made a move at dominance, but I firmly made it understood that I was in charge, pinning his tongue under mine. As I leaned more heavily on him, he fell back, the wall at his back the only thing keeping him up. I moved my hands to his hips, holding him to me as I rocked my hips back... We simultaneously moaned, clinging to each other like we'd die if we let go...

Near... Near... Near... My little butterfly, I can feel your heart fluttering against my chest, I never want this to end... Near... Near... I was getting dizzy... Lack of oxygen...? I was barely breathing...

Finally, I broke away, breathless. Near was gasping a little as well. "So..." I murmured, blushing a little as I retrieved the blanket, striving to fill the near-silence of the room. Near watched me with large, sleepily glittering eyes, inquiring as to what I was saying. "Let's go to sleep then..."

He nodded drowsily, yawning a little, but he looked a little disappointed. I understood, Near. Believe me, I understood...

Lying down, Near doing the same next to me, I breathed, "Good-night, little butterfly..."

But he was already asleep.

Smiling a little, I put a hand to his chest. He stirred, but didn't wake up. His heart still fluttered like a little butterfly... It wouldn't matter if I said it now...

"I love you, Near."


End file.
